Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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