I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
