Non-Jews are for practice
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
