Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
