***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
