whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
