I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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