Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
