Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
