so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize