wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
