So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
