It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
