we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
