i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Someone signed my nipple.
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