you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
