YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
