she kept yelling 'call me bella'
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
