she pinky promised me she was 18
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize