p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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