i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
