party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
