Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
