I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I need to calm my uterus...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
