lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he fucked my hip out of place.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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