There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
