I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
