i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
