Well douche your snatch and let's go!
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
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