im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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