suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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