would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
