He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
