Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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