Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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