Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
