If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize