Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
