we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
