just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
