It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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