Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize