Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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