brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
It's just like the Real World with babies
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
