i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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