What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
