I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
