I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
