How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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