meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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