we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
