The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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