Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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