there's paper in my vomit.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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