how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
