were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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