Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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