Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
