I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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