why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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