He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
