Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
