what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
