Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
