Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Randomize
