Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
