yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize